Dear Hameed and Naila,

It is currently March, 2015; A full two years has passed since the incident that occurred, which has still scarred me to this day. A shocking two years has passed since ISIS had taken over our home in Raqqa. I remember Naila, when you would make me my favorite Sayadieh dish whenever I had earned good grades in school. I remember Hameed, whenever I had fallen down on my bike or I somehow managed to scrape my elbow, you would come to mend my careless wounds. There was not a day where I didn’t enjoy living in our household and to this day, there is not a day that I can go on in my life without missing you both.

I have been living with uncle Abdul and aunt Naseem in the Gaziantep refugee camp in Turkey for around a year now. Living here has already become a daily routine for me. Sometimes, I get up in the morning to go to a makeshift school that local refugee teachers have set up, then I play with the other kids that are around my age for a while. If we’re lucky, some days I will get to eat more than other days where I will not even get the chance to eat in a day. While others certainly have it worse, all my hope in finding some sort of happiness has gone astray. Naseem informed me that the UNHCR has offered us a screening done by the Canadian government to settle us in Québec, where Abdul’s brother lives. They have been carefully considering their options, whether to seek asylum in a completely foreign country, or to anticipate for some sort of miracle to appear in our home town. I hear them arguing everyday, even though they have both decided their time is limited. Abdul has insisted that Canada is a safe place, that his brother will surely find us a home to live in. But Naseem refuses to let go of her roots, and is somehow denying the reality of this disaster happening back at home.

Wherever I go; even if it means living in this refugee camp for the rest of my life or the happiest place in a western country with unlimited amounts of toys, mouthwatering food, or even a cozy shelter, I am still lonely without you both in my life. A piece of me has been taken from me, that has destroyed my hope for the future; for my future. I have tried to remain positive and to contain my sanity, but the horrors I have faced are too unspeakable for even myself to comprehend. I would just like to write these final few words as a way for me to try to move on: I will always remember you both under any circumstances. Not even death can separate or tear our love apart. I will always love you mama and papa.

Love,

Maryam.