WHERE DOES SELF – DISCIPLINE COME FROM

Most of my cousins are married and become parents now, so that I have a lot of chances to have the kids around me even though I am not married yet.

I always call the kids ‘little monsters’ because they are related to noisy, naughty, messy, angry and headache…This is from all the experience I have when I stay with the kids. I tried to tell them discipline but they only accept their own opinion which is to do whatever they want! I know that it is not nice to beat the kids but I really want to do this sometimes…

I remember when I was little, the adults always told me what I should do and what I should not do. I did not understand the reason but I just followed. Because I didn’t want to be beaten…Before, I thought the kids become so naughty because the parents now don’t beat the kids…What I did to discipline the kids is usually tell them what to do and what should not do, then give them punishment and price. It works quite well sometimes but then the kids don’t want to stay with me.

One day my colleague took her daughter to have dinner with me. She was very excited and jumping on the sofa. I was afraid that she would fall so I told her good girls don’t jump on the sofa, or her mom will not take her out again. Instead of saying I will never jump on the sofa, she hit me and shouted ‘you are so bad! You try to separate me and my mom!’ Her mom stopped her when she tried to hit me the second time and talked to her daughter.

‘Sweet heart, do you remember you fell from the stairs last week and you cried?’

‘Yes mom, it hurts.’

‘So if you fell when you jump on the sofa, you will get hurt more seriously. You just hit auntie, now she was hurt and she is very upset because she was trying to stop you hurt yourself but you hurt her.’

Then I started crying (no tears of course).

The little girl came and said ‘sorry auntie, I will blow away your pain. I will never hit you again’

I realized how important to make the kid ‘understand’. A lot of people may think kids should understand what is good or bad, they are naughty when they did something wrong. The fact is, a child is just like a blank paper. It won’t be a paint until people paint on it. Make them understand is much more important than make them ‘remember’. If you understand, you remember. It’s also applied to our reports. When I understand the logic, I improved the report accuracy because I don’t forget the steps to make it.

GOAWAYCOMEBACK COMMETS:

To quite some extent, people become what we tell them are, especially younger ones.

If we criticize a person lazy, lazy, and lazy, he will be a lazier person more likely, for he was cursed into a lazy person by us.

If we praise a person kind, kind and kind, he will be a kinder person more likely, for he was wished into a kind person by us.

Don’t under-estimate the understanding power of a child, if we treat them like an adult and take time to explain the situation to them like the mother in the article, they will learn and grow quicker into a better person.

If we treat our associates as partners, buddies and leaders, then more likely they will become partners, buddies and leaders.

 卡内基训练简介：https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8QOnBFFWDU0