作者: 西西,  Stephen Cheung   微动博: http://xixi.weidb.com

Dr. Stephen Cheung博士是Azusa Pacific University (APU), Azusa, CA. 临床心理学教授  

Stephen：

现在正是学生收到大学录取通知书或拒绝信的时间。对于学生和家长来说，这是一个令人紧张的时刻。我想祝贺那些被首选大学接受的幸运儿！我也理解那些没有得到梦想学院录取的学生的痛苦！已经有很多关于如何看待和处理被大学拒绝的一些非常不错的文章，鼓励大家去阅读，因为这些文章包含着智慧，并且很实用,传播正能量。

西西:

请您先给我们做个自我介绍。

Stephen：

我是一个临床心理学教授，我有职业咨询，临床心理咨询，心理治疗的知识和经验；我曾经是大学录招生取委员会成员；我为本科生和研究生做心理教育和职业咨询，并任职为大学心理健康中心主任多年。我愿意用我的这些知识，帮助大家。

当然，每个人的情况都不一样，我的看法仅供参考。您也应该听听你所信赖的其他人的意见，以便对大学选择做最明智的决定。

西西：

谢谢您！我们很多学生，手上已经有多份大学录取通知书。我们只能挑一所，怎么选？

Stephen:

学生和家长必须懂得：孩子，大学，专业三者必须匹配；这也是几十年来高校和职业生涯规划师的理念。

多年来我曾经是几个研究生招生委员会成员，我们都是使用以上的匹配原则，以确保学生成功。

西西：

什么叫匹配？我以为只要大学排名靠前， 就不会错。 比如哈佛大学，即使不进入它最强的专业，其它专业也一定是这个行业的龙头老大吧？

Stephen:

美国学校不是这样。即使哈佛，也不是擅长所有科目。它拥有强大的人文，法律，以及一些科学和社会科学专业， 而麻省理工学院的工程技术力量雄厚。

西西：

所以不能只看学校排名，还要看专业，是否与你的能力，兴趣一致。

这给我们新移民造成很大困难，由于语言障碍，文化障碍，我们对美国学校了解不多。 名校还知道一些，其他学校的专业就更不知道了。所以我们常常通过学校排名，来做选择。名字好听，面子好看。

Stephen:

是的。家长可以在美国新闻与世界报道的网站找到这些信息：

http://www.usnews.com/rankings

http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/rankings/engineering

http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-liberal-arts-colleges

美国有近4600所院校可以选择。家长学生在申请学校之前要做足功课。除了顶尖名校，他们也应该考虑一些学校，虽然整体排名仅仅略高于平均水平， 可是某些专业水平很高。选择这些学校，他们可以轻松获得奖学金。孩子在这里成绩好，对保护他们的自尊心，增加他们自信心很有好处。

西西：

您刚才提到匹配问题，请问大学挑选学生时，也讲究匹配吗？

Stephen：
是的。大多数高校招生委员会，会从不同角度寻求与他们匹配的学生，就如同公司雇佣员工，不只是看你的大学学历，还要看你的生活和工作经历，以及你的面试结果。所有这些加在一起，决定你是否被录用。大学也是这样，他要通过你的成绩，课外活动，短文，来判断你的能力，兴趣，爱好，文化背景，性格, 理念, 人格特质, 以及该特定大学的其他因素， 来推断你是不是与这所大学理念一致。他们知道一旦你进入这所学校，你本人就成为这个系统中的一部分，你在整个教育过程中， 将发挥重要作用。他们希望学生与学校的教育目标一致，学业成功，这样才能确保学校自己的好名声。

有时，您的子女没有被录取，不是孩子不优秀，而是孩子，学校，专业之间不搭配造成。

西西：

如果学校录取了我，说明学校认为我可以适应这所大学。之后我就可以按名次选学校了吗？比如说哈佛大学录取了我，还有我不去的道理？

Stephen:

选择哪所大学，是你的权利，也是你对自己负责。静下心来，扪心自问，我是谁？我了解这所学校吗？请诚实的回答以下问题：

1。我上大学的目的是什么？分析你和大学之间的拟合度：

你想通过教育得到什么，你将来想做什么？向那个方向发展？然后分析一下这所大学能让你如愿以偿吗？它能给你多少？它将以何种方式帮你达成目标？你认为这是你最喜欢的专业吗? 这是最适合你的学校吗?

2。请教别人，集思广益，增加对学校的了解：
你可以咨询学校辅导员，可以浏览学院网站。此外，请教学院那些和你同专业的在校生和校友，你的朋友，以及所有知道这所大学的人，如果可能的话，咨询一些好的大学规划专家。

3。预想一下整个教育过程和最后的结果：
想像一下，你是否能够融入这所学院的学生团体？你在那里会是什么水平？比较是人的天性，虽然有例外，大多数人不希望处于班级的底部，希望至少在平均线以上。

“相对贫困效应”是真实存在的（即，我们倾向于与别人比较，他们有什么？我们没有什么？）；马尔科姆·格拉德威尔的关于“大鱼小池塘效应”的理论， 是有一定科学学依据的。做小池塘里的大鱼，你会更有信心，会做得更好。请看视频：

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3UEwbRWFZVc 

这个视频显示，那些处于底部的常春藤联盟的毕业生，比一般院校的拔尖学生进步慢，研究成果的少，放弃当初所选择专业的人多。不要忘记，他们入学时，各个都是学校顶部5-10％的高才生。为什么他们变了？自信是关键。

西西：

人都是个比较，并不是和全美国学生比，而是和周围人比。一比， 没信心了，选择放弃。

Stephen:

从心理学角度，不同的人做决定的方法不同：有的人喜欢阅读，分析，依靠理性做决定; 另外一些人，更多地靠感觉做决定。所以要多问几个人，几个脑袋结合在一起，做出最佳决定.

您通过估算，如果能在常春藤盟校中表现很好，那就去藤校！如果你发现，经过一段时间大学生活，它不适合你，你仍然可以改变你的专业和/或学校。

美国至少有4500初级学院和大学。 能够进入前450所学校， 已经是前百分之十了。（排名并不能说明整个故事，其实每个大学都有自己的长处和短处。）如果是你喜欢的专业，而且校友毕业（通过LinkedIn）后，在这一领域有良好的业绩， 这所学校就不会错。

顶级CEO， 许多不是出自常春藤盟校，而是顶部50-200学校毕业。

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/03/15/opinion/sunday/frank-bruni-how-to-survive-the-college-admissions-madness.html?referrer=

西西：

谢谢您提供的宝贵意见。尽早教会年轻人找到自己的专业兴趣最重要，这是寻找匹配学校的基础。

http://www.weidb.com/p13860&g=3547&tag=latest&page=1

=======Original Version============

Selecting the most suitable college 

Dr. Stephen Cheung is a clinical psychology professor of the Department of Psychology at Azusa Pacific University (APU), Azusa, CA.         

Stephen：

It is the time when students receive acceptance or rejection letters from college. It is an immensely stressful time for both students and parents. I'd like to congratulate those who have been accepted to colleges of your top choices! I'd understand the anguish of those who didn't get admission to your dream colleges!  There have been some very good articles on how to perceive and deal with rejection. Because they contain insights and realistic encouragement, I'd encourage you to read them.

西西:

Please tell us something about you background?  

Stephen：

I am a clinical psychology professor I’d now focus on how to select the college among the ones that have accepted you based on my knowledge and experience in clinical and counseling psychology, psychotherapy, career counseling, sitting on admission committees, educating and counseling undergraduate and graduate students, and being a director of mental health centers for many years.

However, everyone's situation is very unique. My opinion is only an opinion for your reference. You should also check with many trusted others for their input in order to make the wisest decision about your college.

西西：

Thanks! Our students, many of them have already accepted by several universities. We can only choose one, how to do it?

Stephen:

What the OC parents need is to understand the beauty of matching between their children and their college and college major choices, which has been the philosophy and psychology of college and career planning for decades.

I've been involved with several graduate admission committees over the years, we use the principles of matching to ensure student successes.

西西：

What does matching mean? I would think there will be no mistakes if it is a top school. For example, like Harvard. Even if we did not accepted by the popular Majors in the school, the other majors should be the best nationally, isn't it?

Stephen:

No. The American schools are different. Even Harvard is not good at all subjects. It is strong in Humanities, law, and some sciences, and social sciences. MIT is strong in engineering, etc.

西西：

This will be hard for the new immigrants who have culture shock and language barrier. We know very little about the universities in US. Except couple of top schools, we have not idea about the majors they offer. Choosing from the ranking is easier, and looks good too.  

Stephen:

Parents can find this information at the website of US News and World report and the like:

http://www.usnews.com/rankings

http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/rankings/engineering

http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-liberal-arts-colleges

I don't know if a lot of Chinese parents know there are at least 4600 colleges in the States to choose from. In addition to the top schools, they should consider some colleges that are above average with many good majors because they can get in easily and obtain scholarship. What is most important, they will do well in them and bolster their self-esteem and self-confidence.

西西： 

You just mentioned matching. Is this the way the college choose student candidate?

Stephen:

Just as most college admission committees look for a goodness of fit between them and the admitted students, so do most prospective employers. Not just your college degree, but your life and work experiences and your interview would help you to be hired. The same thing with college, it will look at you GPA, activities, essay and recommendation letters to figure out your capability, interest, goal of life, culture and other factors that pertain to that particular college to decide if you are the right person the college is looking for.  Once admitted, work on thriving in your college because you play a significant role in your education. They want to match their student body with their educational goals to ensure that they keep their good name and again student success.

Sometimes you child doesn't get accepted because it is not a good fit between him/her and the school, not because your child is not good enough.

西西：

Among the schools those have already accepted me, can I choose by ranking?  If Harvard would accept me, I feel I have no reason not to go.

Stephen:

School accepted you, then you have the right to choose where to go, but please be responsible for yourself: Cool down, think of that: who you are and how much you know the school. Answer those questions from your heart:

1. Determine your goals for college and discern the goodness of fit between you and the college:

Decide on what you want for your education and your goals for your college; then see how much and in what ways the college can offer you in the pursuit of your goals.

2. Consult others because two heads are often better than one:

It would be wise to consult your school counselors and the college websites. In addition, consult the college’s current students and alumni in your major, friends who know the college, and some good college planning experts, etc., if possible.
 

3. Guesstimate the process and outcome of your education:

Try to estimate how well you'll fit into the college's student body, and how well you'll do there because it is human nature to compare. Though with exceptions, most people don't want to be at the bottom of their class, but would want to be at least at the average and above average level.

There is definitely some truth in “relative deprivation” (i.e., we compare with others about what they have and what we don’t have) and Malcolm Gladwell's idea on "being a small fish in a big pond." His video illustrated it well.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3UEwbRWFZVc 

This video shows the most productive scholars are not those in the bottom half of Ivy League graduates, but those in the top 5-10 % of their above-average colleges. Self-confidence is the key.

西西：

This is Human nature to compare, not compare nationally, but with the people around you. Then you lost confident and give up.

Stephen:

From the psychology point of view, different people make their decisions differently: some use their intellect; others, their feelings; still others, a combination of the two, etc. Consult others because usually two heads are better than one; make your decision to the best of your ability.

Certainly in your estimation, if you’ll do well in your major at an Ivy League school, go for it! If you find that it does not fit you well after being there for a while, you can still change your major and/or school.

There are at least 4,500 junior colleges and colleges in the States. (Ranking doesn't tell the whole story; in fact each college has its own strengths and weaknesses.) It wouldn't be too wrong to be admitted to the top 450 schools (top 10 % of all U.S. colleges) that are good at your major and their alumni have a good track record in your field of study after graduation (via Linkedin).

In the recent article on being rejected by Ivy League schools, it talks about the top CEO's who are not from the Ivy League schools, but from probably top 50-200 schools.

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/03/15/opinion/sunday/frank-bruni-how-to-survive-the-college-admissions-madness.html?referrer=

西西：

Thanks for your information.  Help our young people find their vocational interest as early as possible, which will help them to find a good matching school.

http://www.weidb.com/p13860&g=3547&tag=latest&page=1