Original Published Link:  https://lifeofpassion583123442.wordpress.com/2018/04/24/emotional-intelligence/

Emotional Intelligence

• Recognizing Emotions: Identifying emotions in self and in others. Understanding the causes and effects of emotions; the transitions among emotions, the relationships among words and emotions
• Regulating Emotions: Ability to engage or detach from emotions; moderate negative emotions and enhance pleasant ones

Primary causes of derailment in leadership are deficits in emotional competence

Top three causes:

1. Difficulty in handling change
2. Not being able to work well on a team
3. Poor interpersonal relations

Emotion Equation

Situation + Response = Experience

Situation: Uncontrollable factor                 Response: Controllable factor

Example: In a traffic jam, drivers respond differently to the same situation

Hard-Wired Emotions (universal to all human beings)

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Learned Emotions

• Humility
• Sympathy
• Forgiveness
• Empathy
• Gratitude
• Optimism
• Compassion
• Patience
• Cooperation

Regulating Emotions

Knowing and using effective strategies to prevent, reduce, initiate, maintain, and enhance emotions

Detect negative emotion by observing behaviors e.g. increase tenseness, eye contact avoidance

• Do not judge; do not label others’ emotion (people often deny their negative emotions)
• State the observable behaviors, let the person label his / her own feelings

Process our emotional responses

• Take deep breaths (cool down physical triggers of emotions)
• Take time (delay response)
• Provide space to reflect (e.g. take a cool down walk from the situation)

Ways to improve control of emotions

• Meditation
• Deep breath exercise