It is almost Valentine, a holiday about love. The most fond memories I had about this special day were the the Valentines I helped my children prepared for their teachers and classmates when they were in grammer schools. Usually, one or two weeks before Valentine, I would take them to stores to pick the cards they liked for teachers, boys and girls, respectively. The younger they were, the more time they would spend to pick the cards. They were so eager to show that they really care about their classmates and wanted to make sure their classmates like the cards, maybe like them in return. Then they would pick the candies for their Valentines. That also took a lot of consideration. Finally when we got home, they would use colorful pens or pencils to write and decorate the cards. The cards ended up quite pieces of art. On Valentine day, they would give their classmates and teachers the Valentines, and get Valentines or thanks notes from them. It always made their day bright when they came home to read each of the Valentines they got. The love the kids showed toward their friends was innocent. 

The adults celebrate Valentine in much more complicated ways. Because their love toward each other is more complicated. Some people hold a misguided belief in conditional love. What are distinguishing marks of conditional love? It has patterns like, "I will love you only if...", "I will either attack you or avoid you if you displease me", etc. Why is conditional love bad? Because conditional love involves constant judging. It teaches the heart to sit on judgment seat. This kind of judging has nothing to do with real love. It's actually keeping a routine of hatred. It conditions self-centeredness of the human heart. Spiritually speaking, confidence or faith in God's grace is missing in this misguided belief.

Some other people use the term unconditional love as a shortcut to contrast with the manipulation, demand, and judgmentalism of conditional love. They try to shine some light on the sinful form of conditional love existing in human relationship, and make their claim, "Real love isn't like this." This claim is true, but their own belief in unconditional love has its own set of crisis. What are distinguishing marks of unconditional love. Unconditional love is affirming, says, "you are okay with whatever", "you are fine the way you are", etc. Many people buy into this view of God, wishing God is like this.

Why is unconditional love not good? Unconditional love is subtle deception. It doesn't truly want to know people deeply. It refuses to say anything that is wrong with others. It doesn't demand change in others. If we all receive improperly broad acceptance, we need no repentance. There will be no need for us to be humble. It deceives us about ourselves and about God. Unconditional love shows plenty of sympathy and empathy, but has no power to change or transform anyone. This kind of posture is avoiding discerning good from evil at all. This overreaction to conditional love is also a spiritual problem. Unconditional love demonstrates no passion for God's righteousness. People who speak of unconditional love often mean well in their mind, but they speak visions of their minds, not from the mouth of the Lord.

Our love toward others all lands within these two categories. We either hate or judge people and veil it under conditional love. Or we fear really getting entangled in people's lives, so we maintain a polite regard masked in unconditional love. This is the complication with human's love. It seems we are hopeless to really love others or to be loved by others. We all have great fear to be known but not loved by others since it hurts. We don't take much comfort in being loved but not really known since it is superficial. The kind of love we all desire is to be fully known and truly loved, which is almost impossible for us to find amoung sinners.  But Jesus Christ, in His grace as being God Himself, desires us get more than we desired. He desires us to be fully known and truly loved, plus really transformed or changed in love. He not only desires for us, He gives us this kind of divine love if we accept His offer as our Savior and Redeemer. Jesus fully knows us as our Creator, truly loves us as our Savior and Redeemer. His love can changes us because it carries His divine power to give us the freedom to change, which is desired by us as a new being once we are saved by His grace.

Jesus doesn't just accept me merely as who I am; He loves me as how I am. Despite what I deserve, which is immediate death, He loves me. He shares His life with me. He blesses me with changes I truly desire as God's image bearer. He fully fulfilled all the conditions I could never achieve to be qualified as His beloved bride. His love is infinitely deeper than the unconditional love concept in sinners' mind. And now I can begin to change, not to earn His love, but because I have already received it.

I hope you have received His love too. It is the true love you are looking for all your life. Once you get it, your love toward your loved ones will carry both the confidence in God's mercy and the passion for God's righteousness.

Happy Valentine to you all!