读了”楚歌：忆乡坊廖冰专访", 觉得好亲切啊。

近出楼台先得月，因为廖冰与我都是文中提到的PCE Club（www.pceclub.org)的志愿者，廖冰是PCE 总顾问，所以我在PCE 与廖冰接触比较多些。我们（PCE)可是看着廖冰的两个孩子成长的，廖冰经常在PCE 与我们分享她培养两个孩子的教育理念及一些故事，所以PCE 的家长们对她的两个孩子的故事还算是比较熟悉的。廖冰来PCE 做讲座时，经常带着女儿（小名”萝卜”），也让女儿分享她的成长经历。家长们对萝卜在中国和俄罗斯的留学生活很感兴趣，讲座之后，总有一帮家长围着萝卜。廖冰半开玩笑地说：”哎呀，女儿比妈妈更受欢迎啊。“ [Smile]廖冰的女儿和儿子在高中毕业那年都分别被PCE 邀请来做过讲座。儿子参加的讲座是圆桌讨论”如何赏识性格内向的孩子”， 女儿讲座的标题是”高中毕业生对成长历程的分享”。

大家也许对廖冰培养的孩子到底会是什么样比较好奇吧？去年在holiday season的聚会上又见到廖冰的儿子（小名”石头”）和女儿（小名”萝卜”），那晚与他们一起聊了很多。以下是party 之后，我们几个PCE 志愿者的微信交流：

徐蕾：让我感动和难忘的还有萝卜关于光爱学校经历的分享和饭桌上对于人生幸福的解析。十八岁的花样年华，不沉醉于风花雪夜，不以优秀出色自居，不迷失于世俗的攀比，有的是成熟冷静善于思考，有的是无声无息的深度compassion，有的是改变世界的勇气和智慧。我相信有一天，我会骄傲地跟路人说， 我与她同席吃饭，就感受到她的出色和不凡。

黄敏：@徐蕾 有同感！回家的路上，我就把萝卜分享的话讲给我老公听，我老公听了很感慨，不要说是孩子了，就像绝大多数家长，人生走了半辈子了，不要说做了，连想都没想到萝卜所说得那么深刻的话。在生活优越的家庭长大的孩子还这么down to earth, 接地气，非常欣赏！

Tracy: 见到Bonnie的石头和罗卜，非常喜欢两兄妹。妹妹衣着朴素，非常有见解，自信，成熟，讲的话感觉我用几十年才悟出[Smile]，哥哥总是面带微笑，虽然话不多，但很有亲和力，我和他聊了几句，因我儿子也较内向，他非常善解人意，沉稳，说话让人很温暖的感觉。

Nancy chen: 让我感到非常正能量！ 萝卜的真诚和思想深度的确是她的一个blessing，也是她的个人魅力[Rose] 还要提一下石头， 大家有没有注意，当问道石头对大学最开心的事 “上课可以不发言”。   他可以这么接受自己，这么良好心态的告诉大家他不爱发言 .... [Clap] 我只想说 石头对自己的认知和接受是和父母对他的接受分不开的。石头说的话很让人感动 （尤其是说妈妈可以随时电话“骚扰”，真的很贴心），很高兴有大家一起成长[Shake]

廖冰：非常享受跟想法接近的朋友们在一起的那种说不出来的轻松与愉快！石头和萝卜基本是按EQ Parenting的理念成长的。你们的孩子都可以成为这样，比让他们上藤校的可控性和可行性高多了！[Chuckle] 谢谢对他们的肯定！

黃敏：@Bonnie廖冰NJ 最让我羡慕的是你女儿和儿子都跟你很亲，虽然石头和萝卜的表达方式不一样。这让我们这些后来人，对EQ parenting 更有信心了。

以下这段是2年前，廖冰给PCE 志愿者分享的她女儿Shannon 从The Lawrenceville School高中毕业时，她的schoolmaster/adviser Tim Brown 对Shannon的评语：

*注（The Lawrenceville School is one of the most prestigious private High School in NJ）

Shannon is having a great senior year! She brings her characteristic exuberance to everything she does,

from her classes to Crescent House disc to baking for Hurricane Sandy relief (just to name a few). She is

clearly making the most of what Lawrenceville has to offer.

 

Academically, Shannon had a busy, varied, and very productive Fall term, earning a solid A in every class and garnering praise from all of her teachers for her consistent engagement, diligent effort, and insightful mind. She is every bit as talented and effective in her English and history classes as she is in mathematics and physics. 

Shannon has a boundless appetite for new ideas, and her well-documented discussion skills and outgoing character make her a valued collaborator at the Harkness table, chalkboard, or laboratory bench. She has the ability, temperament, and skills to distinguish herself at the college level.

 

The things that stand out for me in my conversations with Shannon so far this year are her store of energy and her determination to get better at everything she does. If she were a car, she have a huge gas tank, a big engine, and a driver who’s nose is pressed up against the windshield, in a hurry to see what comes next. We’ve talked a good bit about architecture, and I’m impressed with how well she understands what it’s about, why it’s what she wants, and what she needs to do to get there. Shannon has what educators have come to call “grit”—a combination of curiosity, focus, and perseverance that distinguishes truly successful people. I’ve just learned that Cornell deferred her application, and I’m pretty thoroughly mystified as to what it is they want. As far as I’m concerned it will be their loss and some other school’s gain if they don’t come back to her—hat in hand—this spring.

 

If it’s not obvious already, I am really enjoying the job of being Shannon’s advisor. I don’t know if I’ve met anyone who is so relentlessly upbeat and who brings so much energy to everything she does. To say that I am her advisor is a misnomer. Few seniors are so effective at identifying what they want or need and then going about getting it. I am more of an appreciative audience, not to mention a grateful consumer of baked goods. 

Shannon is a powerhouse!

******************************************************

以下是我当时读完以上schoolmaster/adviser Tim Brown 对Shannon的评语后回复廖冰的电邮：

Dear Bonnie,

Thank you and Shannon SO MUCH for sharing her house report with us. 

You are like “举着火把的领军人，艰辛地趟过了一条路，然后回过头无私告诉我们，前面哪里有障碍，需要做好准备。“ How lucy we are!

When you mentioned to us on our Friday gathering that your daughter is rejected by Cornell, I burst out "Something is wrong with those colleges!"

From Shannon's house report, she has demonstrated every virtues a person could possibly wish for –intellectual curiosity, grit,

intelligence, determination, passion, self-awareness, hardworking, cheerfulness, deep thinking, abundant energy, higher appreciation of the world around her, etc. I especially like Shannon’s Academic Advisor Tim Brown’s comment that Shannon clearly stands out to be a very rare, unique and mature senior student among Tim’s students. I could see how proud Tim is about Shannon. I completely agree with Tim that it is Cornell’s loss for not taking Shannon.

Yesterday afternoon,  I talked to a friend who also has highschool son. She still thinks “good college = good life” . Then I talked to her about Shannon’s remark on the SAT class “My value cannot be tested from SAT.” and Cornell’s rejection. This is what her response:”像这样懂得自己要什么的孩子，上哪所大学，都不需要担心。这样的孩子太少了，大多数的孩子都是糊里糊涂的，就像我老大一样。这样的孩子， 父母做到的就是尽量把孩子推进好点的学校。“ Then I asked her “ What is the reason you think for those kids who know what they want, is it because of parenting or child’s nature?” she responded “I think parenting only contributes 10 % to her child, it is largely due to child’s nature – who is much mature than her peers” It is true that some kids are naturally more mature than their peers, but I also belive that parents play critical role in children’s development, our values through our actions has great influence to children’s lives. Everytime when I talked to Shannon, I could see the influence of her mother and PCE parenting principles and world views on her. It is also true that siblings who have the same children might not turn out the same, some children might take the positive influence around them more naturally than others. but each one has his/her uniqueness, as long as they find peace in their heart and enjoy life, that is another way of living life, isn’t it? 父母的责任是呵护孩子的天性，这些天性包括好奇心，爱心，上进心，有被人（特别是家长和朋友）尊重和接受的需求等等。也就是说只要我们不折断孩子的翅膀，我们做父母的也就尽心尽责了。

I often talk to Lei that how I wish I(or PCE) can find 优秀的年轻人 who is not from Ivy League schools, but has clear understanding of life, what does she wants in life, which is demonstrated in her relentless determination and actions. I think I found one. I found someone that my son can look up to – set your sight to a lager goal of life, set yourself free to chase your dream; I found someone that I can look up to for a role model mother who loves her children so much and so wisely.

I always think the success of one’s life cannot and should not be measured by college/company/ wealth /fame/power, it is measured by how much impact you made in this society, how many people’s lives are positively touched by you.

I would be very much want to know how Shannon think about her journey so far, how she thinks about Cornell’s rejection, etc. As we talked, she would come to PCE June event to share her experience and thoughts, right?

Please tell Shannon, what a wonderful young lady she is, she is true role model not just for kids but also for us too!

Bonnie, you have every reason to be a proud mom!

Best,

Min