Parenting books
黃敏 03/17 18901
Below is the list of parenting books I read and recommend.
Thanks to many PCE Club members who had recommended many of those books to the club. These books have greatly sharped my parenting principles, taught me how to be a better parent and better person. Without doubt, parenting is the most challenging job, but is also the most rewarding experience.
I am so grateful to have my son in my life and enjoy every bit of my parenting journey!
1. Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication (中文版书名”孩子，把你的手给我”)
By Dr. Haim Ginott
Over the past thirty-five years, Between Parent and Childhas helped millions of parents around the world strengthen their relationships with their children. Written by renowned psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott, this revolutionary book offered a straightforward prescription for empathetic yet disciplined child rearing and introduced new communication techniques that would change the way parents spoke with, and listened to, their children. Dr. Ginott’s innovative approach to parenting has influenced an entire generation of experts in the field, and now his methods can work for you, too.
2. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk中文版书名”怎么说孩子才会听，怎么听孩子才愿意说")
3. How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk
By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
You can stop fighting with your children! Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children―and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this thirtieth-anniversary edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based on feedback they’ve received over the years.
Their methods of communication―illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action―offer innovative ways to solve common problems. You’ll learn how to:
Cope with your child’s negative feelings―frustration, disappointment, anger, etc.
Express your anger without being hurtful
Engage your child’s willing cooperation
Set firm limits and still maintain goodwill
Use alternatives to punishment
Resolve family conflicts peacefully
4. Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child -- The Heart of Parenting
By John Gottman
Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world. And as acclaimed psychologist and researcher JohnGottman shows, once they master this important life skill, emotionally intelligent children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will equip parents with a five-step "emotion coaching" process that teaches how to:
Be aware of a child's emotions
Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
Listen empathetically and validate a child's feelings
Label emotions in words a child can understand
Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation
Written for parents of children of all ages, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will enrich the bonds between parent and child and contribute immeasurably to the development of a generation of emotionally healthy adults.
5. Smart Parenting for Smart Kids Nurturing Your Child’s True Potential
By Eileen Kennedy Moore, PhD
Do parents need to push their children to be successful?
No. Pushing might work with some very compliant children, but many children will actively resist heavy-handed efforts to control them, and the resulting conflicts can get ugly. Children who perceive their parents as very critical of them are also more likely to feel depressed and anxious.
Rather than trying to push our children, it makes more sense to help them develop their own motivation to do well. Research points to three components of inner motivation:
1) Competence--Mastering a new skill feels satisfying, but children will avoid doing things where they don’t believe they can be successful. Breaking tasks down so they can have small successes along the way helps increase motivation.
2) Autonomy--Children are more likely to do something if they have some choice in how they do it or at least a rationale that makes sense to them about why they should do it.
3) Connection--Children want to do things that make them feel connected to people or groups who matter to them. Our children are most likely to embrace our values when we have a warm and caring relationship with them.
6. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
By Carol Dweck
Dweck, professor of psychology at Stanford, proposes that everyone has either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. A fixed mindset is one in which you view your talents and abilities as... well, fixed. In other words, you are who you are, your intelligence and talents are fixed, and your fate is to go through life avoiding challenge and failure. A growth mindset, on the other hand, is one in which you see yourself as fluid, a work in progress. Your fate is one of growth and opportunity. Which mindset do you possess? Dweck provides a checklist to assess yourself and shows how a particular mindset can affect all areas of your life, from business to sports and love. The good news, says Dweck, is that mindsets are not set: at any time, you can learn to use a growth mindset to achieve success and happiness.
By Madeline Levine, PhD
In recent years, numerous studies have shown that bright, charming, seemingly confident and socially skilled teenagers from affluent, loving families are experiencing epidemic rates of depression, substance abuse, and anxiety disorder rates higher than in any other socioeconomic group of American adolescents. Materialism, pressure to achieve, perfectionism, and disconnection are combining to create a perfect storm that is devastating children of privilege and their parents alike.
In this eye-opening, provocative, and essential book, clinical psychologist Madeline Levine explodes one child-rearing myth after another. With empathy and candor, she identifies toxic cultural influences and well-intentioned, but misguided, parenting practices that are detrimental to a child's healthy self-development. Her thoughtful, practical advice provides solutions that will enable parents to help their emotionally troubled "star" child cultivate an authentic sense of self.
8. Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love With Expectations and Protection With Trust
By Madeline Levine, PhD
Psychologist Madeline Levine, author of the New York Timesbestseller The Price of Privilege, brings together cutting-edge research and thirty years of clinical experience to explode once and for all the myth that good grades, high test scores, and college acceptances should define the parenting endgame.
Teach Your Children Well is a toolbox for parents, providing information, relevant research and a series of exercises to help parents clarify a definition of success that is in line with their own values as well as their children’s interests and abilities. Teach Your Children Well is a must-read for parents, educators, and therapists looking for tangible tools to help kids thrive in today’s high-stakes, competitive culture.
10. The Unwritten Rules of Friendship: Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Make Friends
By Natalie Madorsky Elman, Eileen Kennedy-Moore
Elman, director of the Summit Center for Learning in Summit, N.J., and Kennedy-Moore, a Westfield, N.J., psychotherapist, offer a detailed examination of the different ways children interact with their peers. Often, otherwise bright and "normal" children behave in ways that cause other children, family members and teachers to label them as disruptive, unhappy or troublesome. There are nine types of children, according to the authors, including the "short-fused," "little adult," "born leader" and "different drummer." Parents will immediately be able to identify their child from the detailed descriptions included. For example, "Short-Fused Children may appear to be strong, but inside they feel vulnerable. These children are extremely sensitive. They often believe that the whole world is against them. Because they feel threatened, they respond angrily, instinctively fighting to protect themselves." As they explain the various types of behaviors, the authors depict a number of scenarios to show the difficulties children can have relating to others. The challenge for the parents is to help their children learn "the Unwritten Rules" so they have fewer problems and form happier, more productive relationships. The authors provide specific sentences that both parents and children can use to change these destructive behavior patterns.
11. How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character
By Paul Tough
Why do some children succeed while others fail? The story we usually tell about childhood and success is the one about intelligence: success comes to those who score highest on tests, from preschool admissions to SATs. But in How Children Succeed, Paul Tough argues that the qualities that matter more have to do with character: skills like perseverance, curiosity, optimism, and self-control.
How Children Succeed introduces us to a new generation of researchers and educators, who, for the first time, are using the tools of science to peel back the mysteries of character. Through their stories—and the stories of the children they are trying to help—Tough reveals how this new knowledge can transform young people’s lives. He uncovers the surprising ways in which parents do—and do not—prepare their children for adulthood. And he provides us with new insights into how to improve the lives of children growing up in poverty. This provocative and profoundly hopeful book will not only inspire and engagereaders, it will also change our understanding of childhood itself.
12. Drive: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Achieve
by Janine Walker Caffrey
The quality of drive provides the momentum for a person to dream and achieve, creating a unique, independent life. Without it, a person is like a rudderless boat, drifting around a flat lake. InDrive, nationally renowned educator Dr. Janine Caffrey shows how to inspire your children and develop this vital characteristic. How do I get my child excited about learning? To enroll in a good college? To move out of the house? To create his own life?Designed to assist parents, educators, and counselors to get kids of all ages off the couch and into the world, Drive outlines nine specific steps proven to beat boredom and foster self-motivation and resourcefulness. Filled with quizzes, anecdotes, and practical strategies, Drive helps parents turn “Generation Me” into “Generation Move.”
13. The Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers
By Wendy Mogel PhD
Mogel’s sage advice on parenting young children has struck a chord with thousands of readers and made her one of today’s most trusted parenting authorities. Now, in a long-awaited follow-up, Mogel addresses the question she hears most frequently: what to do when those children become teenagers, when their sense of independence and entitlement grows, the pressure to compete and succeed skyrockets, and communication becomes fraught with obstacles?
With her warmth, wit, and signature combination of Jewish teachings and psychological research, Mogel helps parents to ably navigate the often rough journey through the teenage years and guide children to becoming confident, resilient young adults. By viewing the frustrating and worrisome elements of adolescence as "blessings," Mogel reveals that they are in fact necessary steps in psychological growth and character development to be met with faith, detachment, and a sense of humor rather than over-involvement and anxiety.
14. 10 Conversations You Need to Have with Your Children
By Shmuley Boteach
Why do I have to repeat everything? Why does every conversation end in an argument?
Communicating with our children. Conversing. Connecting.When did it become so difficult? And how do we begin to change it for the better?
This book was designed to help parents answer these important questions, and it is based on two fundamental ideas: The first is that there are no bad children, and no deliberately bad parents -- but that sometimes, despite the best of intentions on both sides, there can be badrelationships between parents and children. The second is that, as parents, we must do everything we can to save those relationships, to reach out and really communicate with our children, because it is only through talking to them that we can create an environment for inspiration and change.
In this compelling book, Shmuley Boteach, passionate social commentator and outspoken relationship guru, walks you through the critical conversations, including: cherishing childhood; developing intellectual curiosity; knowing who you are and what you want to become; learning to forgive; realizing the importance of family and tradition; being fearless and courageous. As a father of eight, RabbiShmuley speaks from a wealth of experience. He has written a book for parents of children of all ages, from toddlers, who are just beginning to become aware of the world around them, to adolescents, who must learn to navigate all sorts of tricky social and academic pressures.
10 Conversations will help you stay connected to your children so that they develop the kind of strong moral character that leads to rich, meaningful lives.
15. Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life
16. How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
Notes:
Dr. Haim Ginott was pioneered in the research and teaching on the communication between parents and children in a caring and understanding way. His work deeply influenced the work of John Gottman (author of “Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child -- The Heart of Parenting”) and the work of Adele Faber( author of “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk”)
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父母子女俱乐部 Parents And Children Education Club (www.pceclub.org) 是一个完全由自愿者家长组织的非营利的教育组织， 多年来致力于推广以情商为基础的家教理念，即EQParenting。其宗旨是为华人父母提供一个学习和讨论的平台，不断提高个人和子女的情商，增进与孩子的交流，提高亲子关系。在关心孩子学业的同时，更加关注孩子的心理健康，培养孩子的坚韧力（Grit)和抗压力，等等。
